Good morning, and welcome to the Gibbons Forum. The woman of the hour is not Hillary Clinton, not Melania Trump. It is Meredith McIver, the woman who has admitted she plagiarized parts of Mrs. Trump’s speech with Michelle Obama’s 2008 Democratic National Convention remarks. However, reports came Thursday that McIver might be made up. Well, I’m talking with her today, along with others that have found themselves in the same situation. From that wacky comic strip Family Circus, Not Me!
Not Me: Good to be here.
JKG: Jan Brady’s imaginary boyfriend, George Glass!
GG: Hey Ms. Gibbons!
JKG: Bianca, Lars’ blow up doll from the film Lars and the Real Girl!
Bianca doesn’t speak. Not Me leans in.
NM: I’ll be speaking for her today, Ms. Gibbons. I speak doll. She says she’s happy to be here.
JKG: Oh thanks Mr. Me. And to represent Meredith McIver, we have Moira Shearer’s red ballet slippers from the classic film, The Red Shoes!
MM: It’s a pleasure, Ms. Gibbons.
JKG: Ms. McIver, let’s speak with you. I love the shoes by the way.
MM: Aren’t they beautiful? Yes they drove Moira’s character crazy, but nothing is perfect.
JKG: Aint that the truth. What happened with Mrs. Trump’s speech?
MM: She was really stressing out. I was trying to calm her down. We went to the Bar Method to exercise, then we tried to watch Black Swan. But Mr. Trump told her the speech had to be huge. Huge!
JKG: So what did you do next?
MM: Well I googled past speeches, then read them to her. I did it with my pointy toe.
JKG: I must say that’s amazing.
MM: Thanks. I’m just glad we didn’t use Sarah Palin’s line about hockey moms. People would’ve figured out that one right away.
NM: Ms. Gibbons, can I say this? It wasn’t me who plagiarized the speech.
MM: Oh stop it. We saw those black squares around Trump Tower. Anytime those black squares come around, it means you were doing your thing.
NM: I was visiting Baron. See, I was looking at that Monet they have and I picked it up. I broke the frame. Now they’re blaming the poor kid. Look I’m sorry, but life happens. Hold on, Bianca wants to talk.
NM leans to where Bianca is sitting. He nods.
NM: Bianca wants to know where Mrs. Trump bought her dress.
MM: Oh, I think she got it off the rack at Berdorf Goodman’s,
GG: Ms. Gibbons, can I speak?
JKG: Of course, George.
GG: Okay, I get why it happened. I mean, Jan made me up because Marcia was getting all the attention. All the boys liked her, and she was winning awards the wazoo. So I figured Mrs. Trump was feeling the same way. Michelle this, Michelle that, Michelle Michelle Michelle!
JKG: Good points.
GG: So when you want to be like someone, you emulate them. Like when you used to wear dresses like Natalie Merchant in high school.
JKG: Wait, how do you know that?
GG: I saw pictures. Anyway, it’s like in school when you’re doing homework and you copy something from a book, then you turn it in. The teacher gets mad because you really should learn to use your own words. I think that’s what happened to Mrs. Trump. She forgot to use her own words.
MM: That was it George! Thank you! Would you like to work on our campaign?
GG: No ma’am. I’m going with Jill Stein.
JKG: Excellent analysis, George. But I think what many are finding troubling is that Meredith, we don’t know for sure you exist. Are you made up? Are you imaginary?
MM becomes quiet.
NM: Ms. Gibbons, Bianca has something to say. Can I speak for her?
JKG: Yes please.
NM: The thing is, people are going to believe anything. People think that Donald Trump paid for Ryan White’s health care when someone wrote on a website claiming that fact. People went on and on how great he was. But then Jeanne White came on saying Donald Trump never paid for anything.It was covered by her insurance and Elton John helped a lot. But people started saying it wasn’t really Jeanne White, and she was lying. Bianca says if we can’t believe who Jeanne White is and that Mr. Trump didn’t pay for Ryan’s health care, how can we believe anything these days?
GG: Wow. That’s deep, Bianca.
JKG: Well! I think that’s all the time we have on the Gibbons Forum today! I like to thank all my guests. Let’s all dance! Song cue!
“Sugar Sugar” comes on. All the guests start to dance.Not Me and Bianca do the Bump.